A note for Citroen widows
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Thread: A note for Citroen widows

  1. #1
    Fellow Frogger! ScotFrog's Avatar
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    Icon6 A note for Citroen widows

    From 'Quest' thread.
    "
    You will have to get creative about finding your DS too. Ask around, plead with owners to sell you their car, I hear crowd funding is interesting. Start a post in this forum called 'please sell me your DS' Remember the search is fun and exciting."

    Have I got an offer for you ladies!
    Your husband, partner,boyfriend has developed this Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it revolves around a strange fixation over a 45 year old DS Citroen, lovely car admittedly but nonetheless just a car. He has spent a good proportion of your household income restoring this creature to a ridiculous level of perfection, brings it home after a brief unexpected shower of rain and garages it, carefully drying off the pristine (expensively restored) paintwork with an (expensive) chamois to showroom gleam before covering the car with an (expensive) lined Mylar cover, vacuums out the footwell, opens the bonnet to check nothing has deteriorated since he last checked it an hour ago and comes inside with that distant, distracted look in his eye expecting a cup of tea and a biscuit. He studiously ignores, or perhaps just doesn't see the oil stains on the carpet from the gearbox rebuild and picks up the I-Pad.
    Those long meaningful conversations you once enjoyed seem to be a thing of the past.
    You bring him his cup of tea and he's already browsing this forum checking a restoration thread. You realise that he is contemplating a complete dashboard rebuild having seen him researching immaculate restoration work undertaken by an (expensive) specialist and you are finally over it!
    Co-incidentally I have started a thread elsewhere on this forum titled "Quest" (quoted advice heads this post) and I may be able to help out.


    My offer: I am prepared to take the source of this sickness off your hands. If you let me know where the vehicle is garaged, can legally sign over the ownership papers and advise me of a suitable time, I will pick it up and take away this dreadful curse on your relationship.
    It will be difficult for him I know, but it's all for the best I assure you. These things need to be done quickly and ruthlessly like tearing an Elastoplast off hairy legs. Consequently please make sure that he is not around when I pick up the car. We wouldn't want to string out the agony.
    Think about it, it might be the start to a new stage in your relationship.

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    Ignore false name and address supplied, send me a PM.


  2. #2
    Now go make me a sandwich Hotrodelectric's Avatar
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    Well played, Iain. Well played. **golf clap**
    The measure of your character isn't what you do when people are watching- it's what you do when they aren't watching.

  3. #3
    Fellow Frogger
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    The Widow's Friend ....

  4. #4
    Administrator GreenBlood's Avatar
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    Icon11

    No way my wife will be reading this thread

    Good luck however, nice try

    Cheers
    Chris
    74 D(very Special) >>Rejuvenation Thread<<
    08 C5 X7 HDi very Noir



    "Dťesse" Roland Barthes, 'Mythologies', 1957

    The Dťesse has all the characteristics of one of those objects fallen from another universe that fed the mania for novelty in the eighteenth century and a similar mania expressed by modern science fiction: the Dťesse is first and foremost the new Nautilus.

    (Umberto Eco [Ed], The History of Beauty, Rizzoli, NY, 2004)

  5. #5
    Fellow Frogger!
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    My wife just has, and with the car on stands, front wing on the roof, wheel off and bits and pieces on the floor, awaiting parts, I am now under even more pressure to "get that car going" ("what's the point?", "isn't it going to keep on breaking?", "who would want a 38 year old car?", "it might be pretty, but it doesn't have reversing cameras or GPS", "why is it in the garage?" etc etc). Thanks!

  6. #6
    Fellow Frogger! ScotFrog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajaxvte View Post
    My wife just has, and with the car on stands, front wing on the roof, wheel off and bits and pieces on the floor, awaiting parts, I am now under even more pressure to "get that car going" ("what's the point?", "isn't it going to keep on breaking?", "who would want a 38 year old car?", "it might be pretty, but it doesn't have reversing cameras or GPS", "why is it in the garage?" etc etc). Thanks!
    No worries.
    Glad to help.
    Anonymous (I hope)

  7. #7
    UFO
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    You're working on the basis that wives actually read aussiefrogs. I think I see an error in your logic.
    Craig K
    2009 C5 HDi Exclusive

  8. #8
    Fellow Frogger! Boyracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UFO View Post
    You're working on the basis that wives actually read aussiefrogs. I think I see an error in your logic.
    IIRC, your's does, Mr UFO...!
    Cheers,
    Michael

    ____________________________

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    1972 Citroen DS21 5SPD EFI Pallas [AC088 Blanc Meije]

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  9. #9
    1000+ Posts daffyduck's Avatar
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    Why is it in the garage?

    Snicker snicker

    That isn't a garage, it is a safe deposit box that holds things like no other!
    My god woman! Get a grip!

    Via the aussiefrogs App

  10. #10
    JBN
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    Can you post some pics of the wives involved?

    Thinking laterally, the French way, I may be interested in removing the wife from the scene. Win-win situation. The bloke gets to keep his DS mistress without SHMBO hassling him. I get to entertain the wife.

    She probably ends up just as miserable either way.

    John
    addo likes this.

  11. #11
    Contented Peugeot Driver addo's Avatar
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    To the Victa, the spoils.

  12. #12
    UFO
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyracer View Post
    IIRC, your's does, Mr UFO...!
    Not that I recall your honor.
    Craig K
    2009 C5 HDi Exclusive

  13. #13
    Thank God for my Hydroen harrisson_citroen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JBN View Post
    Can you post some pics of the wives involved?

    John
    Not a problem
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails A note for Citroen widows-citroen-500-tumblr_lxhlq3onhx1qzmy30o1_500wtmk.jpg  
    DS Un jour, DS toujours !

  14. #14
    Now go make me a sandwich Hotrodelectric's Avatar
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    Phil, he said 'wife', not 'fantasy'.
    The measure of your character isn't what you do when people are watching- it's what you do when they aren't watching.

  15. #15
    Fellow Frogger! Bruce Llewellyn's Avatar
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    Yer mad...

    French mistresses are bad enough, but you're trying to subvert a French mistress who is also a diety...

    You might as well try to evict a siamese cat!

  16. #16
    Fellow Frogger! ScotFrog's Avatar
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    Sorry ladies, I know you've been frantically preparing the ground for me to remove that dreadful blight on your love life, that monster lurking in the shed driving a wedge between you and the love of your life.
    But I couldn't wait. I've been seduced by a special D. See the 'Quest' thread.
    However, I might be able to help out with the boxes of useless Citroen bits cluttering up the laundry and other inappropriate places about your home. My shed can be looked upon as a repository for that junk. Just send me a PM and I'll advise you where to post it. And I'm confident he will never even notice.


    Anonymous per usual.

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